Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
