I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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