susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize