Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
