My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
