Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
