i dedicated my morning wood to you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize