is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize