mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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