I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
