Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
