this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
