We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
