OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
