Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
