we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
