P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
