Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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