a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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