i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
