And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize