I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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