yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i dont even know how to be here
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
