well I can't set my house on fire every night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
