have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
