I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
