By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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