Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize