Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize