Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
