There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
