Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
