Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
