i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
