OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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