If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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