I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
