ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
