so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
