please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she looked like the before picture.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
