So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
