carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
