true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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