I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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