its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
