Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
