Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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