I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
