Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
