Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
