All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
