So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
