I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
