He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
