ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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