Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
