every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
