What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
