I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
