just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
