I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
