o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I touched a dick in church today
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
