In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
