I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
