I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
