I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize